i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
