Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
