Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm really busy with my period
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
