..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont even know how to be here
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
