we have officially lost it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He better not be in your backpack
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
