I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
