I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
