So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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