nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
