its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
