It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
