I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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