Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
