I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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