i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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