I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
