I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
