end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
