Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
