Me too!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
