Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
