I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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