Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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