all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm like, not good at living.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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