My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
