you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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