It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
