That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
