I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
