Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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