I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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