im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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