Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
