in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
