i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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