I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
