college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
