I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
