Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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