Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
