so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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