If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
