I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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