When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I supernannyed him into submission
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
