Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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