You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
