Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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