You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
