Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
