Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
